When Landlords Play Handyman: 40+ Times The Jokes Were On Them
If you were brought up in a middle-class household, chances are your childhood pad was a rental. And oh, the memories! Like that time your folks wished a satellite would crash on the landlord’s head. As kids, we were puzzled by their intense dislike. But fast-forward to our adult renting adventures, and the lightbulb moment hit—we totally got it.
Landlords, oh, they’re like a box of chocolates—you never know if you’re going to get the caramel or the coconut. Their relationship status with you and your dwelling can swing from BFF to arch-nemesis in a heartbeat. The rulebook in most US states declares that landlords are obligated to mend the wear and tear under the “warranty of habitability” clause. And that brings us to this listicle: a spotlight on the landlords from the fiery depths of, well, landlord hell.
Switch
This landlord may or may not have learned wire works from the back of a milk carton. Something also tells us that they may not have been the brightest students from their high school geometry class. This just looks like a tragedy!
If you cannot do it yourself, that’s fine. Not everyone has the innate talent meant for electric works. Just let the pros take care of it—this is just embarrassing. This poor tenant might never get to invite a guest over to their house due to this switchboard.
Yellow
Please tell this landlord they should refrain from imposing their weird artistic takes on their tenants. We do not have anything against the color yellow. We even incorporate the color at our home, and it can be rather pleasant if you pair it with the right room.
There’s no giving this a free pass. The landlord’s wild paint adventure transforms the light into something that could pass for something from Chernobyl’s radioactive playground. Just picture it: every morning you wake up, and your day kicks off in the presence of this mind-boggling light spectacle!
Ice Ice Baby
Honestly, we’re scratching our heads over what this tenant is griping about. Just to set the scene, we’re proudly hailing from sunny Arizona. So, you can bet your cactus that our jealousy levels are off the charts for this fortunate tenant. If we were in their shoes, we’d send our landlord a fruit basket!
Also, we are curious to know what brand that refrigerator is. It almost feels as if this machine could kick-start the next wave of an ice age. We are not complaining. If that day comes when Arizona turns into a winter wonderland, you’ll know who’s secretly doing a victory dance!
Roof
Houses wouldn’t be the same without those trusty roofs. No matter how much postmodernist or surrealist architects might debate, we stand firm: roofs are non-negotiable. We won’t even consider buying a home unless it comes with a proper one. People often talk about how the sturdier the roof, the sturdier your home feels.
Well, in that scenario, this tenant’s place could easily be crowned the Fort Knox of houses in the neighborhood. If Russia decides to throw an air raid or even a nuclear party, the neighbors already have their prime shelter option. Just a tiny hiccup: if this stronghold were to crumble, the occupants might need a miracle to make it out in one piece.
Roaches
On the fateful morning when the landlord had planned to grace their tenants’ walls with a fresh coat of paint, they must have woken up and decided to embrace their inner troublemaker. The medieval times are ancient history, but it’s almost as if our ancestors are still alive within the heart of this landlord.
Oh, that unfortunate little bug! No matter how many years have flown by, the landlord channels some serious medieval torture vibes. This is the contemporary twist on the classic move of lopping off your adversaries’ heads and mounting them on pikes along the city walls as a warning to all who dare look.
No Lights
We do not know whether we should applaud this landlord or slap them in the face for this audacity. Yes, you are seeing things right (unfortunately). The landlord painted over the light switch and made it unusable. We wonder if they were sued for this.
We also wonder if this was an attempt at revenge against the tenants for paying the rent late. Maybe they were trying to cut back on the electricity? We can never be sure. All we knew is that the wall looks like a teenager with acne problems.
Marble
This should be illegal, right? There is no way you can commit such atrocities and not end up in prison (preferably solitary confinement). Marble, a prized gem in the interior and exterior design world, holds an everlasting allure, making it a timeless element that’s universally coveted.
The presence of marble tiles and decor exudes an unparalleled sense of grace and grandeur. Being in a room adorned with marble makes you feel like an heiress steeped in historical wealth. However, this landlord, who lacks class and taste, dared to smear white paint from homedepot on this fine material.
Wasp
We gasped when we first saw this. However, we are sure our reaction is not near as scandalized as the poor wasps who had been violated ruthlessly. The USA legally requires landlords to take care of pest infestation on their tenant’s behalf.
Hats off to the landlord for upholding the laws. Nonetheless, the level of brutality here is quite off the charts! Granted, wasps might be the less friendly cousins of bees with questionable roles in the ecosystem. But the landlord really went above and beyond with this brutal approach.
Shower Curtain
Researching for this listicle taught us that not everyone is meant for DIY projects. The level of absurdity in this situation is mind-boggling. We’re the kind of people who break into a cold sweat at the mere thought of sticking a small sticker on our wall, fearing it might cause the paint to chip.
But this landlord thought it was a genius move to thrust a metal pole through the roof of the shower. Can we get someone to give the tenant and the landlord a quick check-in? There’s a legitimate concern that the shower might decide to make a surprise landing on the tenant’s head.
Vent
This pretty much sums up the collective sentiment many women have about the pockets in their jeans. Brace for a spoiler: those pockets are more like an illusion than a reality. Those slits? Purely for decorative purposes. The next picture reminds us of something similar…
But here’s the kicker: there’s really no valid justification for this. We’ve got a clear view of the marble flooring beneath that picture. And let’s be real, we know marble doesn’t come cheap. So why the resistance to installing a proper vent? Is this some kind of nod to aesthetics?
Cigarette
This seems to be a recurring motif throughout this listicle. Landlords appear to be operating under the notion that they can simply slap some paint over something absurdly obvious and easily removable, and it will go unnoticed. Yeah, right, Mr. Landlord!
In simpler terms, our plea is: before you start painting, take a moment to clear away any debris or random oddities. It’s a relatively straightforward task. Perhaps that cigarette butt was the final one they smoked before making the decision to quit, and this act served as a way to immortalize that moment?
Toilet
We’re truly at a loss for words here. It’s been quite some time since we’ve been rendered this speechless. We sincerely hope that the white, foamy substance behind the toilet is some kind of adhesive that gradually solidifies, and not, heaven forbid, a bunch of shaving foam.
If our suspicions turn out to be true, then someone ought to pay a visit to the landlord’s place and ensure everything’s okay at their end. We’ve got this gut feeling that they might have constructed their walls using wax paper and dental floss. Let’s hope this is all just a big jest.
Lampshade
Honestly, we’re kind of into it. There’s a certain charm to this unconventional approach. This lampshade has the potential to steal the show in any living space. Just imagine the intriguing conversations you could spark with your guests by having this as the centerpiece.
Besides, we should look at the bright side (no pun intended). We find ourselves in a time overrun by the blight of plastic pollution. As a result, recycling has become a paramount goal for everyone. That useless cone found a new purpose other than ending in the ocean.
Drill
A sigh of disappointment escaped us upon laying eyes on this. It’s astonishing how a seemingly straightforward task can lead to such a colossal catastrophe. We can only imagine the wretched odor that must be permeating the unfortunate tenant’s apartment due to this mishap.
This incident serves as a reminder of the importance of examining the wiring layout and consulting existing schematics before embarking on significant tasks such as drilling the wall to install a TV stand. This blunder has undoubtedly transformed what should have been a joyful occasion into a rather bitter experience.
Lawnmower
To be completely honest, we can’t really fault them either. Typically, we might have labeled the landlord as negligent, but we’ve also begrudgingly tackled lawn mowing ourselves in the past (thanks, Dad). So, we fully comprehend just how exhausting and monotonous this chore can be.
First and foremost, let’s address the fact that the scent of freshly mowed lawn is far from pleasant (and we’re standing our ground on this one). And can we talk about the discomfort of those sharp grass blades scraping against your legs? It’s not exactly a fun experience.
Garden
If it were us, legal action might have been on the table. After all, this could easily be classified as property damage, don’t you think? While we might have a track record of struggling to maintain a romantic relationship beyond three months, we take pride in keeping plants thriving under our care.
Therefore, we do not let them die from someone else’s negligence either. However, this landlord crossed a line they should have never crossed. You do not touch people’s plants. Gardeners treat their plants like babies, and you better believe that chaos will erupt if you dare to lay a finger on their botanical children.
Snow
Snow, they say, is adorable, they say—until it wreaks havoc on your own belongings. It is in those moments that you truly grasp the destructive potential of this chilly stuff. And take it from us, we’re well-acquainted with the reality.
Think it’s safe to say it was a very upsetting holiday season. We are certain the tenant also lost some valuables due to this negligence. We hope they have a camera installed so that they can prove that this happened due to the landlord’s negligence.
Slick
Let’s award this landlord an ‘A’ for effort and a solid ‘J’ for jail. They might have thought they were cunning as a fox, but as luck would have it, desperation often paves the way for scrutiny. Consequently, small-scale schemes like this tend to get unveiled rather effortlessly.
We’re fairly certain that whatever this individual is up to falls squarely into the illegal category. They’re essentially billing the tenant for an imaginary electrical outlet that doesn’t even have a physical existence. We hate to complain, but this would have prompted us to call the cops.
Improvise
They say that when life hands you lemons, you’re supposed to whip up some lemonade and roll with it. That seems to be the approach the landlord attempted to take. Nonetheless, it’s worth noting that not everyone is a fan of lemonade. Sometimes, improvisation doesn’t quite hit the mark.
At times, it can result in misdeeds like this one. The landlord’s intention was probably to be a good sport and work with the mismatched bucket of paint that fate handed them. Our apologies, but the outcome is just ridiculous. It looks like mold grew on those walls.
Doors
We all have that one family member or friend who’s a master at dodging the specifics when you ask for a recipe. They will keep preaching about how they do not measure any ingredient and shame us culinary-handicapped folks who strictly rely on measurements.
This was them when they purchased their first home. How does it feel, Uncle Roy? You can’t eyeball this now, can you? It must have been a shocker when you realized your new mahogany door isn’t a jar of paprika.
Bathtub
This OP should take a moment to reflect on their actions from the past year to grasp how they managed to provoke such anger from their landlord. It’s hard to believe this was done without some malicious intention behind it. They definitely did something nefarious for them to do this.
We’re not buying the notion that the landlord was oblivious to their actions. Consider this: drilling through thick ceramic takes a significant amount of time and effort. Who’s to say which unsuspecting part of your body might end up impaled by that screw?
Shower Tiles
Take this listicle as a public service announcement: please, for the love of all things good, refrain from tampering with perfectly fine tiles. What’s the point of meticulously tiling the walls if you’re only going to smear unsightly paint all over them?
Let’s be honest; the allure of white is a tad overhyped. It exudes elegance initially, but eventually, it can become rather dull. From our perspective, white tiles aren’t the best match for a bathroom. They tend to create an ambiance reminiscent of a morgue, if you ask us.
Stars
According to the Bible, Ezekiel stated that only the will of God could conceal the stars in the sky. We’re half-seriously considering a thorough examination of every registered landlord in America because we suspect that God might be hiding amongst them. This individual managed to achieve the seemingly impossible.
Putting jokes aside, this situation is rather disheartening. We’re quite confident that the room in question used to be a child’s space, likely brimming with countless cherished memories. The glowing stars that adorned the ceiling would transport us to another realm, making the atmosphere magical.
Welcome
To give credit where it’s due, those welcome mats are oddly weighty. We’re acquainted with someone spraining their wrist while attempting to lift one for some spring cleaning. Nonetheless, the landlord could have simply requested assistance if they struggled with the ridiculously hefty mat.
We bet this was an unwelcome surprise for the tenants (apologies for the tasteless joke). Judging from the tone of the OP, they were definitely not pleased. We cannot blame them. It looks atrocious. This is why some tenants fight with the landlords to renovate things themselves.
Plastic
In the pursuit of DIY, aesthetics often get left behind. While you might find satisfaction in its functionality, it’s unrealistic to assume others will share the same sentiment. The landlord should have taken this aspect into account before making the property available for rent.
What is more displeasing is this unnecessary use of plastic. This listicle does not need to describe the impending doom that the overuse of plastic will bring to the earth, as we all know about it. Those cable ties could easily hurt a turtle.
Taxidermy
Honestly, we can empathize with this landlord. We’ve all found ourselves in that frustrating scenario where an incessantly bothersome mosquito refuses to vacate our room, no matter what we do. It’s too swift to catch, and instead, it persists in buzzing around our ears relentlessly.
If we caught that one mosquito, we would have done the same thing. We would not dispose of the remains as we tried too hard to catch it. Instead, we would have taxidermized it as a threat to other mosquitos in the area.
Pressure Clean
We have decided to laugh at this situation because if not, we will cry. Like a certain German painter, this landlord must have also been denied by art school. Thankfully, instead of bombing innocent people, they just decimated their tenant’s porch.
Nevertheless, we can’t muster any admiration for this, as it appears as if a toddler stumbled upon a crayon and went wild with it on the porch. While some might argue that this falls under the category of modern art, we’re firmly standing our ground because modern art often comes across as messy and childlike.
Hot Water
It’s almost as if this tenant and landlord exist in a separate alternate reality. In most cases, tenants and landlords clash over issues like the latter’s reluctance to provide hot water. We’ve even heard of an acquaintance who came dangerously close to facing aggravated assault charges after a physical altercation with their landlord.
The reason was crudely simple. The landlord was denying him hot water in the middle of winter, and the poor guy almost got hypothermia. Now, this individual faces a different concern altogether—they’re left pondering whether their next shower will turn into a scalding experience.
Fire Safety
This unquestionably should be deemed illegal. It’s hard to imagine that this landlord won’t face penalties once law enforcement catches wind of this. Frankly, they’ve earned it. Such a level of negligence has the potential to put lives at serious risk.
We sincerely hope that this issue has been resolved by now, as it poses a significant threat to the safety of the tenants and their families. It’s worth highlighting that around 5,000 individuals lose their lives to fires each year in the USA. Hence, this is by no means a minor concern.
Carbon Monoxide
On today’s episode of “Idiots Who Belong in Alcatraz,” we have another fool who thinks they can scam their way out of everything. We bet they are unpleasantly surprised to know their tenant found their baloney. Even chameleons get caught!
Surely, we don’t need to elaborate on the perils of carbon monoxide. It’s common knowledge that inhaling even trace amounts of this gas can be fatal. Your gas stove alone has the potential to generate sufficient carbon monoxide to pose a lethal threat to your entire family.
Oven
Please, we implore you, to take the time to carefully strategize your home’s layout before arranging your furniture and appliances. We’re passionate about cooking and have developed a close connection with our kitchen. This kind of situation is easily a deal breaker for us.
While we definitely value having a full-sized oven provided by the landlord, we also deeply appreciate some storage space in the form of cupboards. If we were forced to choose between the two, it’s safe to say this house wouldn’t make the cut for us to rent.
Screwed
We can’t help but speculate whether that small thing is as heavy as Thor’s mighty hammer, Mjolnir. Is it akin to Mjolnir, only to be lifted by the worthy? If not, why didn’t they simply shift that tiny screw and paint the deck properly?
That tiny screw might be embracing its new blue attire, but both the tenants and ourselves are far from amused by this development. It’s worth noting that we’re dealing with OCD tendencies, which means this irregularity is taking its toll on our sanity.
Breaker
We understand why this OP has no comments to give. We are equally as speechless. Against our better judgment, we kind of want to meet the landlord who is responsible for this nonsense. We have several questions that only they can answer.
We can’t help but ponder whether their intelligence truly hits such low levels or if they’re simply malicious trolls deriving pleasure from tormenting their tenants. The reasons behind their decision to paint over a critical component like a circuit breaker will likely remain a mystery forever.
Curtains
Allow us to lay out how one could potentially botch this: first, possess an extraordinary degree of cluelessness; or be an innate master of being an immense nuisance, relishing in causing inconvenience to others. Frankly, this situation is utterly embarrassing.
Did they assume their new tenant was blind or something? We have been staring at this photo for the last fifteen minutes, and we still cannot determine why they thought this was a good idea. That curtain pole looks perfectly functional.
Microwave
What a thoughtful landlord. Look how nice they are for caring for the well-being of their tenant. Since they knew microwaves decay food’s nutritional value, they made it impossible for the tenants to use it. For their generous efforts, they deserve a high five—on the face.
Creating this listicle is proving to be quite the challenge for us, as it’s setting off our OCD tendencies. The culprit for this is none other than the supposedly ‘generous’ landlord. We do not care if the microwave ends up giving us radiation. If we pay for it, we use it no matter what!
Handrail
We’ll extend an ‘A’ for effort to this landlord, but we’re awarding them an ‘S’ for being unfathomably stupid. The only parallel we can draw to this situation is attempting to mend bullet holes using band-aids. It’s simply a foolish and somewhat lazy move.
This corner of the handrail looks like a Walmart discount Pinhead from the Hellraiser franchise. We wonder if the barrage of nails even did anything. We would rather choose to have a wobbly handrail than this. Well, at least they tried.
Alarm
This listicle is honestly making us question life. Are these people actually this stupid, or are they just trolling us? We will never know. Although, we did not know that our landlord Mrs. Margaret is an angel compared to these people!
Although she has the tendency to sneakily raise the rent, she never subjects us to inconveniences of this magnitude. We’re left hoping this landlord was under the influence while painting the walls. If they were sober during this debacle, it strangely makes the situation even worse!
Screen
Mesh screens are really our preferred choice for window materials. They effectively bar bothersome intruders like mosquitoes and flies from infiltrating your living space. Nevertheless, they’re also pliable and breathable, allowing abundant natural light and fresh air to flow through.
However, their flexibility makes them quite susceptible to damage. Therefore, it’s better to replace them entirely when they are broken. It also helps that mesh screens are quite cheap. However, sadly this landlord is fond of making life more complicated.
Classless
Among all the landlords mentioned in this compilation (excluding those who tampered with the fire alarm and carbon monoxide meter), this individual arguably deserves the most severe repercussions. It’s worth noting that we don’t even reside in this house, yet the level of frustration it provokes extends to us as well.
Therefore, we can only imagine what the OP is going through. This is more tragic than Romeo and Juliet and Attack on Titan. It’s a stark reminder of why we often can’t enjoy nice things when we’re renting homes. Landlords, more often than not, seem to possess a rather questionable sense of interior decor.
Puzzled
Imagine moving to our new home and seeing this. We would feel very puzzled (apologies for the pun. We will do it again). The new tenant should look into the history of the previous tenant. Something tells us they and the landlord were not on the best terms.
Finishing a puzzle is one of the greatest joys of life. It feels as if you could conquer a continent when you are done with it. On the contrary, you feel as if your life will fall apart when you cannot find the last piece. There must be deep enmity between the previous parties.
Fireplace
You know what? We are here for it. This is not that bad. After seeing the thing we have seen for this listicle, this feels like a walk in the park. It may not be the most aesthetically pleasing item.
However, there is a certain charm to it. It also helps that this product is run by renewable and sustainable energy. Therefore, this product is better for the environment. Our complaint is that this takes up too much space. They would put the pipes outside.
Carpet
Well, at least they made an attempt—that’s about all we can say regarding this. Not everyone among us possesses the skills of a sewing master capable of mending a carpet that’s been sliced up. This situation serves as another affirmation of our preference for non-carpeted floors.
Carpeted floors might have an appealing aesthetic, but we’re convinced they’re excessively prone to damage. Toddlers and pets can effortlessly dirty the carpet, and even shifting furniture induces a sense of constant paranoia. Not to mention, incidents like the one described here can arise.
Concrete
We will tell you why: your landlord has no taste, or you somehow earned their ire, and they are now taking it out on your pristine marble bathroom. OP, what did you even do? Did you run over their dog or something?
It could also be that they are renovating the place to make it look better. The process of renovation is much like surgery. To heal something, you must first cut up the body to get to the wound. Therefore, the OP shouldn’t be too alarmed.
Penny
You know, we are not too mad about this. This is triggering our OCD as per usual. However, we think it is still better than fossilising a cockroach or a mosquito under a layer of toxic paint. At least this is money.
Even if it’s just a penny, its value can appreciate over time as coins become more collectible. We’re all familiar with the substantial prices vintage coins can fetch on platforms like eBay. Who knows, perhaps this item could also fetch a handsome sum a century down the line.
Penny
Indeed, we might come across as a bit materialistic. However, we’re unapologetic about it, and you shouldn’t be either. Discovering your own money tucked away in a forgotten pocket or crevice is akin to receiving a present—and let’s be honest, who doesn’t relish a gift.
Perhaps this is a quirky game concocted by the landlord. Instead of hunting for chocolate bunnies, the kids embark on a quest to locate pennies ingeniously hidden throughout their abode. You know what? We’re surprisingly on board with this concept.
Square
You know those toys from our childhood that helped us learn shapes? We had to fit the right toy through the corresponding opening to grasp the concept. We all had at least one of those. Maybe the landlady missed out on that experience.
Even if she did, she clearly never graduated from the toy as she struggles to distinguish between shapes. Every afternoon you will see her on her tea table with the shape toy in front of her. We imagine she stares at it like a grandmaster states on a chess board.
Fences
We will give this landlord an ‘A’ for all of their valiant effort. Sadly for them, the tenant is not very amused, and we can see why. This is like trying to nail jello to the wall. At some point, this thing will fall apart!
A single tornado could easily uproot this fence from the ground and send it soaring to the next state. Furthermore, we’re not in favor of the excessive use of plastic here. It’s these seemingly minor components that often inflict the greatest harm on the environment.
Tapes
So close yet so far away. The landlord could have almost gotten away with it. Unless you look very hard, no one would notice it. However, it seems nothing escapes the eagle eye of someone with OCD (like us, obviously).
However, at this point, nothing can phase us. Perhaps you also feel the same after coming this far down the listicle. Compared to the previous things the landlords tried to camouflage, this is rather watered down. Kudos to them for trying.
Nefarious
We take it all back. It seems something can indeed phase us. We were not prepared for this. The landlord would not even have to send us an eviction notice. We’ll leave on our own accord if we see this.
Having watched our fair share of horror movies, we’re well aware of the reasons why we should steer clear of that bathtub. Regardless of the logical explanations you might offer, we’re not taking any chances. If we come across this scenario, we’re promptly vacating the premises.
Perfect Match
Saved the best for the last. Unlike our previous contenders, at least this person is honest about their blunder. They said it is not going to be an exact match, and they lived by it. We have no space to complain!
If the OP is mad about it, they should remember that they said that it was okay. We are just glad that we are not living in this house. Our OCD is unable to tolerate such stimulation. Kudos to the landlord for their honesty.