Funny, Strange, And Confusing Ads People Posted Online For A Quick Buck
The word Craigslist evokes different feelings in different people. For some, it has helped them find a place to crash or probably earned them a couple of dollars through selling pre-loved items. On the flip side, some have experienced a much darker side of Craigslist, thanks to scammers and scalpers.
Whether you love or hate Craigslist essentially boils down to how effectively an advert reaches the target audience. The idea is to package an item or service as succinctly and tantalizingly as possible. If you go overboard on the information, your advert might become a legendary flop like any of the ones below.
Instead of post-its on the Craiglist bulletin board, these folks managed to make the website into an entertainment platform. And now, we get to enjoy.
40K For An Experience Of A Lifetime
Whoever this is must be an insanely wealthy and unique individual. Pictured below is his advert trying to find the perfect person to attend his classes and do the hard work for him. It says here he’s willing to shell out a whopping $40,000!
If that isn’t a good enough reason to apply for the job, then maybe finding out the university you’ll be attending might seal the deal. We don’t understand why anyone would pass up on Harvard. But then again, maybe he has better things to do with his time.
Gen Zs Be Like…
Gen Z-ers are often described as the most entitled of all generations. It’s not uncommon for them to quit just as soon as they feel a particular job is not meeting their needs. Here’s one centennial trying to find another source of employment.
This gives us hope. If this person could land a job, then surely we’ll have our pick of the litter. All we have to do is put out an advert and hope that some employer will bend over backward to get us to work with the company. Oh, and bi-annual salary raises, please!
Perfect Decor Piece
With the right kind of furniture, you can make that shabby apartment look like a New York flat. Make sure you have bright lighting where you need it most, like study areas and book nooks. Here’s an inexpensive light fixture that should help you get started.
It might not come with the ability to do a handstand, but at least you get a free pole to practice on! You can test your flexibility if you’re not too attached to the bulbs. Clearly, everyone follows their own marketing strategy on this site.
A New Invention For Burning Man
This man has always known he was born to be an entrepreneur. After a couple of months at several failed ventures, he decided to craft a project that would help solve a problem. His target audience? Athletes competing in the “Burning Man Ultramarathon.”
Mechanically-brave is just one of the names we’d use to describe this man. Not even an hour later, there had been a public bid for this Suzuki cargo bike. Prices started at 0.50 cents, and we’re confident they reached $5 by the end of the hour. We wonder if it made it to Burning Man.
The people who posted this are proud parents of a ten-month-old child. At the time, they were helping their kid learn how to stand. They felt that he could finally do it on his own after many tries. But first, they needed to get rid of this support.
We forgot to mention they’re fur parents to this young dog who looks like he’ll miss the stool most once it’s gone. This was probably his failed attempt at preventing the couple from taking a good picture of it for craigslist.
You’ve got to admire people’s ideas on Craigslist. We came across this odd advertisement that we think could actually be an excellent service. It solves a problem that almost everyone has had at one point in life, which is always a great selling point for a successful business.
Have you ever met someone who was good at breaking bad news? Probably not. Not to worry — now you can hire the services of this professional without being put in a tight spot! Too bad there are no credentials or reviews to show this guy’s actually good at his job.
Love Makes People Do Crazy Things
Having someone break up with you is never easy, but this guy took it harder than most. After he was blocked by his girlfriend on all social media accounts, he turned to Craigslist to find some solace. His story should be a cautionary tale to everyone reading this.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out who he had named all those reptiles after. We wonder if Amanda saw this ad and what she thought. The biggest takeaway from this is that ice cream and old movies work better when dealing with heartbreak than hopping on Craigslist.
Fresh From The Market
You know someone is in desperate need of money when they log into their account and post an advert like this. This person even had the audacity to hold a public bidding over a carrot he had bought from the market.
If we had wanted to buy something shaped like a crab claw, we would have gone to the seafood section of the market and bought ourselves a kilo of them. There’s no point selling us a carrot shaped like one, especially when crab meat is better in every way.
From The Hilarious To The Downright Creepy
Every now and then, you will encounter an advert like this. This one, specifically, reminds us of Chucky. We have always wondered why these people never thought to donate such items to people in need or, better yet, a church.
Lord knows that even priests need to practice their exorcism skills. They could have taken turns summoning the devil from this doll and then condemning him to the depths of hell! On a serious note, though, we bet this listing attracted a lot of offers.
Making Lemonade Out Of Life’s Lemons
After a close brush with death, this guy thought he could sell his trophy car to someone on Craigslist. After all, it makes for quite a story. The passenger he was with now has a pierced lung, whereas he survived the accident unscathed.
Oh, and get this. You have to manually extract the cactus from the car as part of the user experience. Either this guy is insane, or he knows something that we don’t. However, since crazier things have sold on Craigslist, he might be onto something.
Being in a friend group is always fun until someone leaves abruptly. This gang, for example, might be going through a rough time. They are on what seems to be a desperate search for someone to replace one of them.
Anyone who sounds, acts, dresses, and even smells like Darby will do the job. We wonder just how many days a potential candidate should skip bath time. The photo was actually good thinking on their part since it made nailing the look easier. Also, free beer and food sound like a very good deal.
Reminders Of Him
After a breakup, one of the most therapeutic things you can do is to forget about the other person. Force them out of your mind and get rid of anything that might remind you of them. Take it from this woman who wants to sell her can opener.
It’s not really the most sentimental thing that would remind us of a lover, but the brain doesn’t act according to logic when it’s fresh out of a breakup. So as much as this advert is on our list, we definitely understand why she had to do this.
Someone made the unlikeliest pet out of a sea creature. Nope, we’re not talking about Ursula or Ariel, and it’s not even close. For some reason, this person owns a lobster and is willing to pay $50 for you to take it off their hands.
Since this post went up, it has received a lot of attention (naturally). Goose the Lobster has even made a debut on social media. We just hope whoever bought him hasn’t made a meal out of him, if he’s still alive, that is.
Craigslist may be a haven for buyers who want to save up on cash, but it’s imperative to beware of scammers. Numerous people want to make easy money preying on unsuspecting customers. So you should know the market rates for whatever it is you want to buy.
This seller isn’t even willing to put a bit of effort into the scam, which is just pitiful. If a custom shoe rack is what you want, we recommend going to the nearest warehouse because, for a small amount of money, you can get enough pallets for one.
Love Is In The Air
Who would have known that one encounter with a tall brunette with a near-perfect body at Trader Joe’s would land this guy his soulmate? He couldn’t get his mind off her. He posted this update ASAP, hoping to ask her out on a date.
Love is certainly in the air for this guy. However, someone should have tutored him on how to shoot his shot before he went ahead and butchered his chances on Craigslist. If you were the woman in question, would you reach out?
Moving to Tahoma
The idea of moving has never felt so appealing. After seeing this advert, we are setting our sights on Tacoma, Washington. Apart from waterfront vacation cottages, mountain views, and ski slopes, Tacoma boasts of free bacon! Sign us up! Seriously!
If it was meant to be a sick joke, then, by all means, pull that prank as frequently as possible. We’re willing to relieve this vegan housewife of her problem. Too bad this guy is going to be an ex-husband soon. He sounds like a funny dude.
Which Is Which
We haven’t come across an advert as confusing as this. Not only is the caption limited, but we couldn’t tell what kx and pw were referring to at first. Was the owner selling us that motorcycle kept in his bathtub, or the cute kitty staring at it?
We might pay $2000 for a specific cat breed. Apparently, kx is the name of a dirtbike, which clears things up. What remains puzzling is where the bike is stationed. We would hate to think that’s where he washes it.
Now, this is what Craigslist is built for. This man had invested countless hours trying to get past Vanilla Dome in “Super Mario World.” He had tried 476 times and was now worried that he would never be able to beat the character. He needed a hero.
There is only one thing apart from money that will motivate an adult to go to a stranger’s house and play a Nintendo game — an unlimited supply of whiskey. Smart. We are sure that sealed the deal for most candidates who signed up for the job.
Rare Autographed Photo Of Christ
There are a lot of scam products sold on Craigslist, and every once in a while, you will find a jewel among the rubble. Apparently, at only $175, you can buy this photograph of Jesus Christ and get this: it’s signed by the savior himself!
You can tell by the black and white photo that this is very old. For a picture that’s supposedly two centuries old, it looks pretty good actually so for $175, we bet the seller thought it was such a steal!
A Trip to the Alps
You won’t believe it, but a Snowcat limousine, in mint condition, is up for sale just outside of Vancouver for a whopping $5000. This bad boy was made from a repurposed 250 Bombardier Snowcat and a 1989 Caddy stretch limo. Any takers?
It may look like a joke, but let us reassure you it works perfectly well in snowy conditions. If you ever fancy taking a trip to the Alps and drinking champagne like a millionaire, then this is a ride you should definitely consider getting.
Caramel Clearly Beats Cheese
Remember when as a kid, you would pour your treats on the table, separate them according to color and flavor, then munch on your favorite ones first? You would then give the rest to your older brother or offer them to your mom and get a pat on the back for your kindness.
Well, this adult outgrew the selfless charade. Instead of giving away what was left of his holiday popcorn, he decided to sell two-thirds of each tin on Craigslist. We aren’t surprised that someone didn’t mind that the caramel popcorn was all gone.
Genius Or Plain Cruel?
If you want to help save the environment, you can reduce your carbon footprint by relying on renewable energy and cutting down on gasoline use. This man found a fail-safe way to mow his lawn without using gas or electricity.
He relies on Mother Nature to do the job for him. Of course, this marketer won’t tell you that it will take this lawn mower 10 hours to do the job. And he can only carry your weight for so long. It must also be sheared every now and then.
The Most Versatile Dress Ever
After a wedding, every bride dreams of seeing her wedding gown worn by her daughter (if she has one). Unfortunately, this woman’s daughter did not take after Mum’s size 10 physique, and not even an expert tailor could downsize the dress to a size two without absolutely ruining it.
So, she thought to put it up for sale. We love that she outlined a bunch of hilarious places you can wear the dress to. Of course, you can run a 5K in this! We even have the perfect pair of white sneakers to pair it up with.
Must Maintain Blood Sugar Levels
Sometimes, out of sheer boredom, we browse through our Craigslist feed hoping for a little hit of entertainment. It only takes a couple of minutes before we get that high. This man was in need of it…a sugar high from Girl Scout cookies, to be precise.
While we can understand a pressing need to buy snacks, we can’t help but wonder just what this person did to earn a restraining order from a minor. It’s never a good idea to throw a temper tantrum just because a kid won’t give you a discount on a box of cookies!
Take My Money!
Every day, the intensity of our headaches increases proportionally to the advancement of technology. Most of us have no idea how to deal with computer virus and malware issues. Sometimes, it seems like the only way to solve that, is to go old-school.
First of all, brilliant marketing! We agree with this seller on all points. You don’t need to waste money on a separate printer and scanner. All you need to do is type on this mechanical keyboard, and you’ve got a printed sheet of all that you encoded!
An Abundance Of Almonds
What is it about whipped husbands and Craigslist? We meet another one who lives in Durham, North Carolina. Apparently, he ordered an excess of almonds, and now he needs help getting rid of them. Do you happen to know any squirrels up to the task?
Better yet, making almond milk and almond butter with the excess would be another solution. We’re sure his wife wouldn’t mind such an innovative idea. Plus, he could sell these on Craigslist! Either way, we hope he was able to sell before his wife got wind of his transgression.
Everyone has a weird quirk, or so we like to think. With that said, we can’t help but raise an eyebrow at this man’s kink. Why would anyone own a giant hamster wheel in the first place? Also, what’s with the shredded newspaper all over the room?
Apparently, the hamster wheel was designed for an adult, and we can’t help but wonder what for. Was it made to generate electricity? Was it made as an alternative to a treadmill? Or is it something a bit more devious? Frankly, we’re a bit scared to ask.
In every relationship, there comes a time when you have to make a tough choice. This man certainly did. After his girlfriend gave him an ultimatum to choose between her and his dog, the guy was left with no choice but to pick his canine.
That should put her in her place! We think this man chose right by his dog. Even though this woman may not give him the cuddles he desires, we’re sure his furball is a loyal ally and a low-maintenance companion.
You Mean Clifford?
Although the internet is a vast space where you can do anything, it shouldn’t always be the first place you look for answers when something happens. This man was surprised to find a red dog, and instead of calling the cops or the local vet, he decided to ask for help on Craigslist.
We imagine the vet consult would be something like: “What red dog? You mean Clifford?” the vet asks. The guy sends a picture, his eyes widen. “Okay, get your cat out of the house. We’ll be there in ten.” Funny how an adult could go through life without being able to identify a fox.
When You Forget You’re A Parent
We’ve never heard of such a thing. There are horror stories of parents falling asleep in public spaces with their kids running amok, but this is a different level altogether. Imagine being so tired you forget you have kids in the car!
That is why this Craigslist user came up with the original idea to create reminder tags. Of course, you could always just use your phone to set an alarm when you’d like to resume your duties as a parent or ask your local police authorities to help you.
Our Knight In Shining 4×4
When you’re out having the time of your life on a random weekend, the last thing you want to happen is to run into the police with bloodshot eyes. They might have you blow into a breathalyzer or walk a straight line, but not if you run into this knight.
He understands that while it’s bad to have one drink too many, it’s worse to drive home drunk. So he’ll do you a solid and drive you home. Though he knows there’s always Uber, he promises a much better experience than the usual cab ride.
A Wooden Block By Any Other Name…
We now meet another person who intends to scam unsuspecting buyers. This guy posted a picture of what seems to be a block of wood and called it a didgeridoo, which happens to be an Australian wind instrument. Problem is, it looks nothing like it.
Of course, he addresses that in a disclaimer below the photo. If you must know, didgeridoos are made from a straight, hollow eucalyptus or ironwood branch. These are hollowed out by nature in the form of termites. This guy clearly didn’t do his homework, and we hope no one fell for this.
This Saw Clearly Does The Job
You can only come across a handful of solid deals on Craigslist, and we think we’ve got a winner here. It just might be on your dad’s wishlist. This handheld circular saw is perfect for making rip-cuts, cross-cuts, or both!
That picture tells it all. It tells you why his wife wants it gone, and it proves that it pretty much stops at nothing when cutting. At least you’re confident that the saw cutter works. Now, how many fingers do you actually need?
This seller’s advert for a microwave rubbed people off the wrong way. First, he made sure to market the product with a description of the appliance and how much it costs. Simple. However, the buyer can only get it on the condition that they pick it up at his house.
We have to meet elsewhere, Mister. We doubt anyone would feel comfortable going to this man’s house to pick that microwave up. Who knows? That might be the last day anyone would see them alive, or worse, whole. Better to be safe than sorry.
Despite the hate that Craigslist gets, there are a couple of reasons why we love it. It’s basically a virtual bulletin board where anyone can post anything they want. This man’s advert was a breath of fresh air from all the dreary marketing posts we have seen all day.
While our heart goes out to Bryan, we can only imagine the amount of work his wife has to deal with the rest of the week. And she probably doesn’t get credit for it like he does at work. We hope he at least got a few hours to relax.
Time Out Tank for the Bigots
If you thought that only humans were discriminatory, then you thought wrong. Even certain families of fish believe themselves to be superior to others. Meet Kevin. It took this fish-owner months to find out Kevin had a deep-seated prejudice against goldfish.
Their owner obviously doesn’t tolerate this. Now, he’s selling Kevin and his murderous brother Neal to the first buyer. We wonder how long these two morally challenged brothers will last with their new owner with no one else to hate but themselves.
Disinfect Before Use
If you’re planning to buy stuff off Craigslist, we would suggest that you disinfect them before bringing them into your home. Take this guy who has grown tired of re-watching the tape inside this VCR machine. By the tenth time, he was all withered up.
You could ask, but it’s safer if you assume that the VCR set is stained. All you have to do is wipe it off with good old disinfectant. As we said before, it’s better to be safe than sorry, so always wipe things clean when possible, especially if they’re pre-owned.